I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.

So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

He said, "Like what?"

I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?"

He said, "Religious."

I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

He said, "Christian."

I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?

He said, "Baptist!"

I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?

He said, Baptist Church of God!"

I said, "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!"

I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!"

I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

-- Emo Philips (found on http://forum.richardd...)

Hahahah!

Ok, so here is one.

This bus full of nuns is driving a long a road when it comes to a bridge. When the bus starts to cross over the bridge the driver loses control of the bus, and the bus falls off the bridge down to the river below, and everyone on board dies. Needless to say all the souls of the nuns go straight up to Heaven and they find themselves standing before St. Peter and The Pearly Gates. St. Peter says to them, "Ladies, before I let you into Heaven, I have here a bowl of Holy Water which I must use to purify any of you that may not be perfectly pure. So please form a line, and come up to me one at a time so that you might be purifed and enter Heaven."

So the nuns quickly form a line, and the first one in line walks up to St. Peter. When she is standing before him he asks her, "Now, my child, have you ever touched a penis?" The nun holds up her right index finger and replies, "With this finger I once touched a penis." St. Peter tells her to stick her finger into the bowl of Holy Water, and then she will be purified and she can go into Heaven. The nun does as she is told, she is then purified, the Pearly Gates open for her and she walks through.

The the second nun in line then walks up to St. Peter. When she is standing before him he asks her, "Now my child, have you ever touched a penis?" The nun holds up her right hand and replies, "With this hand I once held a penis." St. Peter tells her to stick her whole and in the bowl of Holy Water, so that she can be purified and enter Heaven. The nun does as she is told, she is then purified, the Pearly Gates open for her and she walks through.

Then the third nun in line walks up to St. Peter, and stands before him. But before St. Peter can say a word, a nun from near the back of the line quickly runs up and stands between St. Peter and the third nun. Then she asks St. Peter with a pleading look on her face, "Look, can I please gargle with that stuff before she has to stick her ass in it?"

What does "god" and dog have in common ? (Besides the spelling)



Both are created by man.

No more jokes?

A farmer buys a plot of land from an auction. He spends eight months clearing out the trees and brush, tilling the land, sewing the seeds, and finally has his crops planted and growing. A nearby preacher walking down the road smiles at the farmer as he walks by. “What a wonderful job you and the lord have done, my good son!”, he says cheerfully. The farmer retorts” Yes, but you should have seen it when he had it all to himself!”

Atheist joke thread on Richard Dawkins' site:
http://forum.richardd...

A Google image search for "atheist joke" yields some pretty good results, too.
http://images.google....

Thanks for the links. I started to explore the Dawkins website and somehow forgot to look for the jokes...

Am I an Atheist or am I a theist.

Because one day I went to the pet shop with my parents and I said "hey can i get a dog ma?" She handed me a bible and asked why we were at the pet shop.

What's the difference between a Smurf and an Avatar?

About 800 million in box office grosses!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA.

I continue to be brilliant.

A Methodist minister, a Baptist minister, and an Episcopal Minister and their wives are all standing at the pearly gates waiting to get in. The Methodist minister is first up to see St. Peter. St. Peter says to the Methodist minister, "I don't see your name on the list" The Methodist minister replies, "What are you talking about?. There must be a mistake." St. Peter says, "Seems you had a horrible drinking problem. You even married a woman that reminded you of alcohol". The Methodist minister, outraged, grabs his wife by the arm and says, "C'mon Sherry, let's get out of here!", and storms off.

Then the Baptist minister is up to see St. Peter. St. Peter can't seem to find him on the list either. The Baptist minister is confused. He says, "I'm a Baptist Minister, I'm a shoe in!" St. Peter replies, "Seems you embezzled money from your church for years. You even married a woman that reminded you of money." Outraged, the Baptist minister grabs his wife by the arms and says, "C'mon, Penny, let's go. Who needs 'em anyway?"

At hearing all of this, the Episcopal minister turns to his wife and says, "Well, Fanny, we might as well leave now."